Content note for suicide

"The only problem is unsolved death. I have felt many times on the edge, but always at the last minute, there was a way out or a helping hand to assist me in a way to the light."

– Anderson Bigode Herzer

Anderson Bigode Herzer was a transgender poet from Brazil who never reached the level of fame he deserved. Herzer was a young poet who was deeply traumatized throughout his youth and died far too young. Though he did not have a long life, he did have an eventful one. 

Herzer was not given a good start in life. His father was shot in a bar when he was only four, and his mother was unable to support herself and her child. Herzer first lived with his grandparents and then moved in with his uncle, where he began drinking at a young age. From there, things did not get easier for him. At thirteen, his boyfriend died in a motorcycle accident, and Herzer began to have trouble in school. At that point, still identifying as a woman, he began identifying as a lesbian. Soon after, he was sent to Fundação Estadual para o Bem Estar do Menor (FEBEM), a correctional facility for delinquent youth, though he had committed no crimes.

FEBEM was an underfunded detention system that was overcrowded and known throughout the international community for its inhumane practices. FEBEM is often compared to the concentration camps in Nazi Germany. The people running the facilities were often abusive, and when they were not, they allowed abuse to happen under their watch.

Herzer, a young child just beginning to explore his identity, was brought to one of these facilities. There he discovered that he was transgender and began using his new name, the same name he wrote poetry under. He wrote about his experiences, which included poetry about his gender, his imprisonment, and the hardships he’d been dealt. He published his work shortly before his release from FEBEM at seventeen and found a relatively supportive community waiting for him. His poetry had reached many people; through them, he met Eduardo Suplicy, a member of parliament who hired Herzer as an intern. Despite Suplicy’s efforts and the general improvements in Herzer’s life, the poet committed suicide at age twenty.

A short life is not an unusual thing in the queer community. The average life expectancy of transgender people is between 30-35 years old. Obviously, one of those reasons is violent crime; transgender people are not only in a vulnerable position, but they're also more likely to be victims of violent crime. Suicide is also horrifically common in our community. Life for queer youth has never been particularly easy. 

It is impossible to point to one thing as the cause of Anderson’s suicide. That being said, there was a great deal of trauma he was never able to fully deal with, even when he was given access to resources that may have helped him. Through an already difficult childhood, he was pushed into an understaffed and overcrowded detention facility where he was given the worst care possible.

Anderson was failed, time and time again, often given the worst people could offer. Unfortunately, by the time he was given access to better, it was too late. 

REFERENCES AND FURTHER READING

Disclaimer: some of the sources may contain triggering material

José Carlos A. Brito. (2005, December 12). O suicídio em poetas jovens, como Sandra (Anderson) Herzer, vulgo Bigode. https://web.archive.org/web/20051212193940/http://www.revista.agulha.nom.br/ag47bigode.htm

Zagria. (2010, February 25). Anderson Bigode Herzer (1962 – 1982) poet. A Gender Variance Who’s Who. https://zagria.blogspot.com/2010/02/anderson-bigode-herzer-1962-1982-poet.html