“I have cut out pieces of me and distributed it.”

– Agniva Lahiri

Within the queer community, the work of activists is vital. Just as in every avenue of culture, people fighting for change are a necessary and often underappreciated section of the population. When one is born queer, there is a set of circumstances one can end up in where stepping into activism seems like the next obvious step. While many decide to take other paths, and those paths are no less worthy of praise, and often have drastic effects on the society around them even without the active decision to do so, the path of the activist is a difficult one. Queer people, both historical and contemporary have been put in a position where their very existence is a form of activism, and while that can be a rewarding path, it is not without its’ sacrifices. In the life of Agniva Lahiri, while there is a clear and obvious passion for advocating for the rights of the marginalized, it is not a situation where there were many other options left open to Agniva.

Before continuing on to describe Agniva’s life, there must be a pause to discuss Agniva’s pronouns, something Agniva was asked about in an interview with Subhash Chandra, which will be referenced often in this article, saying:

"To answer your question, well first of all, I am a Bengali and in my native language, Bengali, we do not use gender for male and female…operational Bengali is quite gender-neutral, although while travelling when I have to use English I do not have any preference. As people perceive me by my performance they themselves decide how to address me. In most of the cases, it is 'she'. Instead of the politically correct ZE or HIR (the traditional Trans word) I prefer to use 'she' while writing – as S/He. The best way to address me is Agniva…by my name.”

It is also worth noting, that a large tenant of this project has been, and is about handing the mic off whenever possible. The best expert on a person's life is generally the person themselves. When it is possible to let them explain themselves, that's the path we will follow. In this case, we are fortunate enough to have a wealth of quotes from Agniva, and we are going to take advantage of that luxury within this article.

Born on August 22, 1979, in Kolkata in India, Agniva was the child of a teacher and a government servant. From a young age, Agniva showed clear signs of gender variance. Agniva would discuss how this was taken, saying:

“Talking of my early childhood, I recall, at the neighbourhood Nursery School, where I studied up to class IV, the teacher frowned at and objected when I behaved like a girl. She did not think, this was indicative of something deeper. She just thought it was another child trying to imitate the opposite gender. Nothing unusual. There are cases sometimes of girls imitating the mannerisms of boys. So, she scolded me lightly and forgot about it. I repeated the acts of femininity, but even then, she did not read any meaning into those acts.

[...]

From class V onwards, I studied in the Ramakrishna Mission Residential School, which is located on the outskirts of Kolkata. I mostly stayed at the hostel. I was feminine looking and my femininity was noticed. It especially attracted the attention of boys on the playground where I faced problems on account of my effeminacy. For example, I was not included in the games requiring physical strength. I felt left out and felt bad.”

Agniva would go on to experience similar things after entering college, saying:

“The harassment continued even after I joined Asutosh College in Kolkata. In fact, the harassment was both inside and outside it. Some of my school-mates had also joined the same College and they spread the word around about me and then joined others in harassing me. The harassment was in the form of mocking, or passing snide remarks and, at times, even physical violence. I got used to those things. However, since I had by then joined the support group, it helped me in feeling a little more comfortable. At the same time I had begun to get restless and angry. I wanted to raise my voice against that injustice. There was no reason for that kind of physical and verbal abuse that was inflicted on me. I began to raise the issue in the Humanities classes and some of the College Professors were sympathetic and open-minded. They discussed this issue in the class and because of them I acquired a relatively comfortable space in the class. I began the publication of a magazine, called Pratyay Arshi Nagar to which my Professors also contributed articles on this issue.

It made only a small difference. The harassment and victimisation did not end completely. Sometimes I, along with some others, approached different agencies against this harassment. We tried all sources including the police and protested and wanted the police to put a stop to it. But it all came to nothing.”

While these experiences were largely negative, in Agniva’s family, Agniva was able to experience some support. Having two sisters, Agniva describes the experience:

“At home, sometimes I wrapped a towel around me to give expression to the gender feminine I felt I was. I also used (My sisters) cosmetics, at times. That gave them the idea. However, they were not shocked or anything. In fact, they were quite understanding. They had a great influence on me. They are the ones who taught me what grace is by being graceful themselves. I have an easy relationship with both the sisters even now, though both of them are married. Occasionally, they participate in my events, that is, events concerning my activism in this field.”

So, under those instructions, this article will be referring to Agniva exclusively with Agniva’s name, as that seemed to be the best English-based alternative for Agniva’s pronouns.

After a difficult time in college, Agniva was able to obtain a Masters degree in Bengali Literature from the University of Calcutta and later a Masters in Sociology at Nagarjuna University, Agniva discussed how having an education affected the life path Agniva chose, saying:

“Education does empower in several ways. One becomes more articulate and assertive. Being educated, of course, has given me advantages. I can express myself. I have more confidence in myself. I stopped hiding what I am.

[...]

My education has enabled me to do self-reflection, seek out people like myself, has made me shed the feeling that I am degraded compared to the so-called 'normal' men and women. And above all, my education has given me the courage to 'come out' as I am. I do not hide myself now. I do not closet my identity.

[...]

Most importantly, my education has taken me out of the rut many poor young transgender fall into. I could get a job and become economically independent. A large majority of transgenders are caught in the vicious cycle of poverty. They were poor and so could not get good education. Therefore, they did not get a good job. Sometimes, they did not get any jobs because of their visible effeminacy.”

Agniva’s activism started with newsletters and joining different groups to represent Agniva’s life experience as well as representing the voices of people who shared similar life experiences to Agniva. Agniva’s activism persisted in many different ways as Agniva was faced with multi-faceted challenges in academia as well as in Agniva’s personal life. In specific, Agniva was assaulted and when the police would attempt to dismiss Agniva, Agniva and Agniva’s friend would go on to push and push until a First Information Report was filed on Agniva’s behalf. Agniva would work with UNICEF, UNFPA, GATI, and the Network of Asia Pacific Youth. Despite Agniva’s connections, Agniva would be remembered as someone who would often rub people the wrong way with Agniva’s passion and firm stances. A friend of Agniva’s, Aditya Bondyopadhyay, would write in a dedication to Agniva’s life, saying:

“Being a loud mouth that always said things the way she saw it, the powerful people who control the NGO sector and can cause impediments if they did not like you, were often at odds with her. Yet it is a testament to her resourcefulness that she managed over the years, to run her organisation and the shelter called ‘Prothoma’ that it had set up, in spite of the odds she faced.”

Promotha is a home for victims of human trafficking that was run through PLUS(People Like Us), which was an organization that Agniva would play a large part in the founding. Agniva was passionate about helping and uplifting the voices of people who had been victimized by sex trafficking, specifically focusing on men and transgender women who had been largely ignored by many organizations dedicated to helping victims of sex trafficking. Agniva would also write a paper on the subject of underage gender variant people and boys being pushed into unsafe situations as dancers.

Passionate about helping people who had been pushed into sex work or sexually violent situations, Agniva would advocate for the experiences of boys and gender-variant people who had been sexually exploited.

This work, while deeply important to Agniva and deeply meaningful for the world as a whole, Agniva’s friend, Aditya Bondyopadhyay, would write about how this affected Agniva’s personal life, writing:

“A few years back I spent an evening with her in Delhi, while she was visiting. We were sitting and talking and she had already downed half a bottle, and was a little tipsy. Maybe it loosened her up a bit and we got talking on many things including her personal life.

The details are not important and may be are too personal to divulge, but what stood out was that she was lonely and craving company. While in her characteristic way she blamed it on the fact that that she was gaining weight, she was also candid in letting know that the life she chose was not helpful. An emancipated, powerful, well articulated, and on your face kothi was not the idea of an ideal partner for the traditionally masculine.

There were also the problems with money and resources. It was never enough to meet the needs of those she was choosing to serve. Her way of dealing with that was to invest her person more fully with the people she was trying to help. But that too extracted a personal cost. I remember an expression she had used that night: “Nijey kay kete kete bili kore doiyechi”. Meaning, “I have cut out pieces of me and distributed it.” Spoken through a drunken stupor, it exemplified her in a few words.

I was reading an obit statement by a fellow academe activist, where he mentioned that someone who worked closely with Agniva had said that “She had hungry days”. That is so true. The hunger was actual and metaphorical. It was a hunger of the body and of the mind. It was fueled in equal measure by lack of money for food, as by the lack of someone you could cuddle with and forget about the lack of money or food.

That night, Agniva had acknowledged that she had an issue with alcohol. She’d said that the bottle was a true-true-friendship. As she had put it, it lifted a ton off her head and helped her sleep peacefully. In the end I think it is that true friendship which helped push her liver over the brink. At a certain level, this makes the rational me very very angry. At another level, I can completely fully comprehend and empathise.

It was a short time that she was here with us, but it was long enough for her to touch many people. She exasperated many, and I include myself in that list, but anyone who chose to see her closely, saw through to the good heart she had. Now that she is gone, she has taken those exasperations with her. Memories of that good heart is what I would like to stay on with.”

Agniva Lahiri would die of liver failure on, 20 September 2016 at the age of 37.

REFERENCES AND FURTHER READING

Disclaimer: some of the sources may contain triggering material

A Tribute to Agniva Lahiri: A Life That Inspired. (2016, September 20). https://allianceindia.org/tribute-agniva-lahiri-life-inspired/

Agniva Lahiri. (n.d.). Retrieved October 22, 2022, from https://prabook.com/web/agniva.lahiri/2550023

Agniva Lahiri | AWID. (n.d.). Retrieved October 22, 2022, from https://www.awid.org/whrd/agniva-lahiri

Bondyopadhyay, A. (2016, September 21). A Tribute to Trans Activist Agniva Lahiri. Gaylaxy Magazine. https://www.gaylaxymag.com/blogs/tribute-trans-activist-agniva-lahiri/

Chandra, S. (2009). Intersections: Interview with Agniva Lahiri: An Activist Transgender located in Kolkata. Intersections: Gender and Sexuality in Asia and the Pacific, 22. http://intersections.anu.edu.au/issue22/chandra_interview.htm

Lahiri, A. (n.d.). Agniva Lahiri Issacs. Scribd. Retrieved October 22, 2022, from https://www.scribd.com/presentation/14705636/agniva-lahiri-issacs

Lahiri, A., & Kar, S. (2007). Dancing Boys: Traditional Prostitution of Young Males in India. 74.

prothoma.ketto.org. (n.d.). Agniva Lahiri. Prothoma.Ketto.Org. Retrieved October 22, 2022, from //prothoma.ketto.org/individual/individual_details.php?fmd_id=115632