Jane and Paul Bowles

Jane Bowles, a white woman with short curly dark hair, and Paul Bowles, a white man with short light hair, sitting together and looking away

“Jane was so amusing, and I thought it would be great fun to be with her all the time.”

– Paul Bowles

Jane, a disabled Jewish lesbian/bisexual author, and Paul a bisexual composer and author, were married in 1938 and stayed together until Jane died in 1973. Jane and Paul Bowles were well known in writing circles throughout their concurrent careers.

Jane and Paul met in New York City only a year before they were married. After their first encounter in 1937, Jane decided to join Paul on a trip he and his friends took to Mexico. Though she left halfway through the trip, saying that she wasn’t enjoying herself, her relationship with Paul flourished.

After their trip, the two were known to go to parties together to hide in corners and talk only to one another. Their friends spoke highly of them. While they were not well known in the public sphere, they were “famous to famous people.” Friends with Tennessee Williams, Gertrude Stein, William S. Burroughs, and many other famous artists of the time, Jane and Paul were well-loved.

Before their marriage, their relationship was a strictly non-sexual one. Jane said that she wanted to keep her virginity intact until she was married, and when Paul asked her to move in with him, she turned him down. She said that moving in with a man without marrying him wasn’t something she wanted to do. In response, Paul proposed.

While the first year of their marriage did have a sexual aspect, Paul and Jane maintained an open relationship. The sexual nature of their relationship ended after only a year of marriage. Their friendship, however, was unaffected by their sexual disinterest in one another.

Paul and Jane stayed married for 35 years and continued travelling together, encouraging the other to pursue sexual and romantic connections outside the marriage. Later in life, Paul would work to pull Jane out of a romantic relationship with a woman named Cherifa. It seemed his disapproval stemmed from concern that the woman was using Jane for her money rather than from any form of jealousy.

Outside of her marriage, it seemed that Jane never pursued any other romantic or sexual connections with any men and was possibly a lesbian. It could also be suggested that she was bisexual. From all accounts, it seems that she was at the very least more attracted to women than she was to men. In her writing, her characters were shown to have relationships with men before discovering that they preferred women. It has been noted in many cases how much Jane Bowles was similar to the characters she wrote.

As for Paul, it seems he had relationships with both men and women throughout his life, so bisexuality seems the likeliest label for him.

Outside of either of their identities and their early marriage, it seems that neither remained romantically or sexually attracted to the other, yet they stayed married. They travelled together, lived together, wrote together, and edited each other’s work. They were best friends, though they were not always in sync.

When the two moved to Tangier, Paul’s work flourished. He moved away from his career as a composer to work on his writing, which he felt was more personal than any of his work with music. Jane joined him in writing with less success.

Her writer’s block was legendary, and even when her work was finished and subsequently published, its success was limited. While other writers could not give it enough praise, reviewers and most audiences found it confusing at best and nonsensical at worst. By all accounts, she seemed to be a writer’s writer.

Regardless of their differing success, both Jane and Paul seemed to fall in love with Tangier. They travelled less after their move there, settling down for seemingly the first time in their relationship. But despite their fondness for the city, they both displayed racist tendencies towards the people.

Before her arrival, Jane displayed an aversion to the people of Morocco. When she did settle into the city and found a lover from Tangier, her attitude seemed to shift to a more positive view, while Paul’s sunk into a more negative light. In his distaste for her lover, Paul used racist language to describe the woman.

Like Jane, his opinion of the citizens improved when he began a relationship with one. One must wonder if their shift in attitude was because of personal growth or if it stemmed from a fetishization of Tangier's citizens. Their strange and complicated relationship with Tangier ended when they were forced to seek medical care for Jane at a clinic in Spain.

Jane had a stroke that affected her greatly, and Paul spent the rest of her life caring for her. She had difficulty seeing and picturing things, and Paul became her primary caretaker until she died. Despite being “just friends,” these two were the most loyal companions in each other’s lives.

Throughout the years, queer people who were not romantically attached have married one another to keep from having people find out about their true identities. Though romantic connections don’t usually exist, they care deeply about one another and are often incredibly devoted. This phenomenon is called a Lavender Marriage and is something that continues to be practiced to this day.

Paul and Jane may not have been romantically attached, but they were deeply devoted to each other. They supported each other, cared for each other, and championed each other’s work. They loved each other, even if they were not in love with each other.

REFERENCES AND FURTHER READING

Disclaimer: some of the sources may contain triggering material

Jane Bowles—Library of America. (n.d.). Retrieved April 28, 2023, from https://www.loa.org/writers/664-jane-bowles

Lynne Tillman. (n.d.). Nothing is Lost or Found: Desperately Seeking Paul and Jane Bowles. What Would Lynne Tillman Do? http://www.whatwouldlynnetillmando.com/b-is-for-the-bowleses/nothing-is-lost-or-found-desperately-seeking-paul-and-jane-bowles

Meyers, J. (2011). THE ODDEST COUPLE: PAUL AND JANE BOWLES. Michigan Quarterly Review, L(2). http://hdl.handle.net/2027/spo.act2080.0050.205

Michele Rosenthal. (n.d.). Jane Bowles. Queer Portraits in History. http://queerportraits.com/bio/bowles

Sprague, C. (1999, December 31). Jane Bowles. Shalvi/Hyman Encyclopedia of Jewish Women. Jewish Women's Archive. https://jwa.org/encyclopedia/article/bowles-jane.

Victoria Mixon. (2010, June 27). The Forces Within: The Millicent Dillon interview on Jane & Paul Bowles. https://victoriamixon.com/2010/06/27/the-forces-withinthe-millicent-dillon-interview-on-jane-paul-bowles-part-1/